lazy is what lazy does!

i have meet many people who are hardworking in my life..but the good part is hard work is hardly contegious!! have you ever seen someone start working coz the person next to him working.. only incase he/she(i hate this part coz of the feminists i have to type more!) is your senior and you really want to impress him/her(see again!), which basically means you are licking his a**! but see the amazing thing with the lazy things, say like yawn.. its so damn contegious.. 57% of people yawn after seeing the person next to them yawn..amazing stat isn't it! but being lazy is not that easy..its a art that needs perfection..but i guess having been there and done that! i can give u a sneak peek in the anatomy of a lazy person.. well to begin with, first thing first.. laziness is a state of mind.. u can't fake it.. you got to attain it and than perfect it..so having understood the basic premise.. lets go ahead mates..to begin with u got to get the lazy look on your face.. let me try to explain it to u..its like u got to keep ur eyes blurred and mouth slightly open, head tilted to right.. and the expression of "i'll die if i even blink my eye"..i wish i could put my pic here! well i being a lazy always wishes that i had a find tool(ctrl+F ) key in my life..coz hate to get up and look for things..(well a lazy mind has to think weird) ..thinking is somthing that lazy minds do quite ofte, even though most of it is wishful..but you got to do it, sometimes(there is no regualr wor in a lazy person dictionary!) being a lazy you need to work on sore ass pains.. too feel and look lazy you got to sit at the same place and same pose for hours, hence the back and ass pain to endure..but let me tell you, once you get used to it, it ain't that painful.. and just in case soebosy corners you to do any work.. well just do this..If you are asked to do something you REALLY don't want to do, first try your manly best to get out of it. If that doesn't work, go ahead and do what you were asked to do, but complain that you don't know howto do it and continuously ask questions on how to do each little part. If no one rushes in to do it for you yet, finish the job in the most half-assed way you possibly can and then say "See???? I told you I couldn't do it." Eventually people will stop asking you to do things. Also practice your blank stare.. look lost whenever anyone calls you.. you will be told to get lost eventually..so thats ok..remember promises are meant to be broken.. promise the sky and deliever only thin air! changes are not necessary, the thing would not have come in the first place if it was not supposed to be there..so resist change..but incase it requires you to do any work to resist this change, leave it..let the change happen..as if we the lazy guys bother!! well enough man, i am already tired.. my fingers are going numb with this strenous activity. so i am going to tell you the rest of the stuff once my next thinking session is due, which is like 3 week away.(my brain is as lazy as my ass!)

confession of criminal mind

its been a long time since shooting has been banned in india courtsey mrs maneka gandhi.. but last week i was given the task to shoot dogs!! their no. has increased faster than indian inflation rate.. pay commision not doing much about us, i thought that i might as well give it a shot..you never know its might be a alternate carrer for me!! might win a gold medal one day in olympics!! or better become a assasin!! well whatever, castles made in dreams don't last long.. the dogs were much faster than me(both mentally and physcially!!) the first one was a black ugly looking one.. i shot him at 25 m range..accurate and lethal..thats me!! but the moment i turn my back towards him, he gets up and vanishes, well now i can't even claim i shot one.. the photographer(my poor junior who has been tasked by me to shoot my antics) was looking scared..he also missed the shot! and well the dogs here were really expert in gurriela warfare, coz i could not see any dog after the first kill(well i hope that the shot is going to give him a death, the slow kinds.. ). i went on my bike with a gun in my hand(just like DUS..atleast thats what i felt!). A gun in hand always gives a kick! well the 1 hour search was futile as i could not find one dog! and while i was relaxing after the search, came one more walking into my trap..boom..just miss..boom 2nd shot and that was one more kill..but the photographer was missing again.. alas.. and suddenly my phone started ringing, i thought its a call form the indian olympic asscociation.. well 3 shots for 2 kill is a nice avg. but it was angry residents, particualrly the ladies venting their anger on me.. one lady made the resquest of leaving a black bitch she feeds..well what was she thinking, i will lift up the tail..see the sex and than shoot.. the dogs are not that dumb lady! and next request, not to shoot a CUTE brown dog... now how do i find out this CUTE dog among the 5 options of brown dogs that i had...!!!anways the double strike was enough to scare the entire community of the street dogs there.. and well my life was not good after that, ladies looked to me a heartless soul.. well not true.. society creates crme, criminals just do the job! and well some one has to do the dirty job..so was i..but i feel sad coz just by chance on that date one person has died there, but no one knew about it.. well if you respect life..a human life is also of same importance as a dog's life..but at the same time, it was just a job for me, not a hobby for me..